The Unique Struggles of Being a Writer with Bipolar Disorder
When there’s too many or not enough words.
To be a writer, you have to be a little off. Maybe it’s why so many writers also have a mental illness. Or perhaps, having bipolar disorder may inspire you to become a writer.
I can’t be certain on this one.
What I can tell you is what it’s like to be a writer with bipolar disorder.
Just like everything else in life, bipolar makes the world of writing an adventurous place. Typically, I’m in one of three phases. What follows summarizes the unique struggles of being a writer with bipolar disorder.
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I can write everything
Bipolar disorder is best known by its two cycling episodes of mania and depression. While you live most days somewhere in between, the two extremes can hit without warning and with a vengeance.
In my experience, you don’t have to be near either extreme for bipolar to affect your writing.
On the one hand, you have mania. Inspiration is plentiful and words fill your head.
Ideas will fly at me with such ferocity that I can hardly write them fast enough. My blog topics folder has over 100 ideas of projects I want to write. My drafts folder has nearly as many partially completed drafts.
The days when the ideas are flowing, I might write 10,000 words or start 15 different articles. Those are the good days of being a writer with bipolar disorder.
Mania always brings its evil twin. What follows is the depression cycle.
I can write nothing
The depressive side of bipolar disorder brings all writing to a stop. It’s not that the ideas completely go away, but suddenly you don’t know how to put them together.
Not only does motivation disappear, but so does your willingness to put in the effort. You may simply not care about writing or your readers.
Yes, that’s a harsh truth, but it’s a reality. Bipolar depression can take away all emotion and enthusiasm. Nothing feels like it matters, so all writing stops.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my readers. I’m thankful for every one of you. On bad days, though, that’s a hard thing to remember.
With the extreme periods out of the way, you might think the remaining days would be easy to write. Yet, being a writer with bipolar disorder includes one more variable.
It’s something I like to call bipolar blur, but many with chronic illnesses call a similar phenomenon, “brain fog.”
What’s writing again?
“Bipolar blur” is my term for the days when the world is a swirling haze around you. I wrote the poem, Bipolar Blur, to describe how it feels.
For me, this fog can appear both during a manic and a depressive episode and at any time in between.
For whatever reason, your brain turns off. Writing becomes an alien concept. There are no words to write even if you want to.
Those are the days you struggle to remember how to tie your shoes or turn on the television. The art of writing becomes a foreign language you’ve never heard before. There’s almost no way to produce anything while in the grasp of those days.
Since being a writer with bipolar disorder has so many obstacles, is there anything you can do? Absolutely.
Just keep writing
When coping with mental illness, it’s vital you constantly keep fighting. The battle never ends, so you must never quit.
Writing is the same. The only way to be a successful writer is to exercise your writing muscles. You must keep writing. That’s true if you have a mental illness or not.
Keep putting words on paper, no matter how incoherent they might be. Not everything is for the world to see, and that’s perfectly okay.
On the foggy days when there are no words and you don’t know how to type or hold a pen, then try audio files. Open a talk-to-text app on your phone or computer and start talking.
The words don’t have to make sense, and you don’t have to do it for a long time. Even five minutes will keep your creative brain nourished. This will make it much easier to write the next time your brain is willing to work with you.
In the last few weeks of being a writer with bipolar disorder, I have cycled rapidly through all three phases of writing mayhem. Too many words, no words, and a vague recollection of what words are have all stopped me.
I care about my readers and my art. So, here I am again, sitting and writing. You can do it too.
Until next time… keep fighting (and writing.)
Read Next: Revealing What Happens When Experiencing Bipolar Blur
I was diagnosed with PTSD and Bi-Polar age 45… which sort of came as a relief because I was such an idiot for so many years before that and suddenly I had an excuse!! In 2019 I decided to write and have not stopped since. It helps me no end. The first book I entitled; ‘Taking the Bad with the Good’ because that is what I find I must do with BP. Three years after my diagnosis my wife was diagnosed while under section in a mental health unit. When I wrote the book it was not meant to be a self-study but I can now see that even back into my childhood the foundations were being built ( or eroded) for my condition. I guess the disposition was there for us both and a terrible loss maybe was the trigger… Now on those 4am waking mornings I simply go up to the shed and write…and write… 10k words a day is not unusual. I am currently working on a comedy about Mental Health… OK, maybe no one will ever read it but the writing is for me, not for others. That said. It is rather good. All profit from Taking the Good with the Bad go to Domestic Abuse charity.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Writing is wonderful therapy. And 10k words in a day? I’m jealous. I have hit that a few times but very rarely. I’m going to go check out your book. Keep fighting.
Thanks for sharing this. I haven’t written my blog since the beginning of my depressive episode as the words just won’t come. Maybe I should just try writing for myself privately rather than sharing. When I’m hypomanic the words just flow and the blog posts just keep coming.
Thank you for your comment. I understand completely. I didn’t post at all the last few months because of a depressive episode. Writing privately can be very therapeutic. Keeping a journal is how I detangle the thoughts on my head. Keep fighting.
Great post and great motivation for me to carry on with my own writing
Thank you so much. Some days are easier than others, but there is great value in continuing to write. I wish you all the best.
Writing has always helped me cope with my moods actually – it allows me to express myself, distract myself etc. Great post!
You’re right, writing can be so therapeutic. Never stop. Thanks for your comment.
You are awesome. You are unique. And you are loved. Keep writing and keep inspiring your readers.😍❤️
Thank you so much!
I wish I had your writing style and skill. My posts are pure thoughts to the blog. My spelling is awful and grammar spotty at best. The material is real though. I sometimes miss the mania but barely survived the sure to follow crash. Writing seems to be easier for me angry or sad.
Thank you so much for saying that. I often feel like a lot of my writing is just rambling. It does help to run it through a free editor like Grammarly or Pro Writing Aid. They catch a lot of my mistakes. The important thing is to just keep writing.
Great post! I’m bipolar too and this speaks so close to home.
Thank you for your comment. It means a lot to know the words resonate with someone else. Keep fighting.
Thank you for sharing this post! It’s great motivation to keep writing.
Thank you for taking a moment to comment. Never stop writing. It helps both you and your readers. Keep fighting.
Great post! I find this all too relatable..
Thanks for your comment. In sorry you can relate, but grateful for your comment. Please visit again. Keep fighting.
Wow…this really resonates with me
It’s always nice to meet someone who understands. Thank you for taking a moment to comment.