Giving Up
A poem written during a dark, hopeless time.
Trigger Warning: Self-harm, suicide
Note: Watch this poem in video format below.
Giving Up
Night crawls onward
Alone, empty
Mind tossing wild
Black churning sea
Eyes pried open
Senses alert
Body nervous
Bleak heart inert
Sleep stays distant
Overgrown path
Thoughts held captive
Another’s wrath
Few choices mine
Many were not
Small battles won
Others forgot
Never alone
It claims my mind
Binds me tightly
Thoughts intertwined
My life passes
Swirls around me
To set me free
There is no key
Which thought is real
And which is not?
The sense to feel
I haven’t got
Ever awake
No sleep of peace
Deep pain resides
Will never cease
Mindful, alert
Sanity bought
Heart like a stone
Emotions naught
Reach out, hold on
Grasp what is real
Confusion high
No cards to deal
Tired, betrayed
The goal to sleep
Reticent tears
Misery keep
If from this rest
I never wake
This chance of fate
Freely partake
Battle wages
I cannot win
To achieve peace
Commit this sin
As time ticks off
‘til final rest
To just be gone
May be what’s best
February 22, 2004
Start Today!
I wrote this poem when I didn’t think I would survive my mental illness. There were a lot of bleak days. I’m so grateful that I was wrong. In time, things got better.
If you are in a gloomy place now, hold on. Better days will come as long as you always keep fighting.
If you or someone you love is coping with thoughts of suicide, please get help immediately. Here are some resources that may help.
United States:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Telephone: 1–800–273–8255
Chat option available
Canada:
Crisis Services Canada
Telephone: 1.833.456.4566 — Available 24/7
Text: 45645 — Available Daily 4pm-12am ET
Chat option available
Crisis Text Line — 24/7 nationwide crisis-intervention text-message hotline created in partnership with Kids Help Phone.
Text: HOME to 686868 in Canada to text with a trained Crisis Responder.
United Kingdom:
Samaritans — 24/7, toll-free crisis line, and local branches.
Telephone: 116 123
Campaign Against Living Miserably — It has a limited-hour phone and web chat options every day from 5 PM to midnight.
Telephone: 0800 58 58 58
Other Countries:
List of suicide crisis lines for other lands
Please forgive me if I have not listed your country. Your life is valuable. Do an internet search for “suicide hotline” in your country to find a local number or chat option.
The poem video version.
You may also benefit by using a no-suicide contract.
Until next time, keep fighting.
