Depth of Darkness — a Poem About Chronic Illness

Watch this poem in video form below.
Depth of Darkness
When the doors to outside
are impossibly sealed
And steel chains hold captive
the sole power you wield
When internal voices
speak in unending tones
And aches of depression
ravage all lonely bones
When hiding in your bed
the lone safety you find
And destructive desires
wage cold war on your mind
When frigid and frayed nerves
cause your tired heart to race
And lasting solitude
impossible to face
When bathing and grooming
demands more than you’ve got
And cooking and cleaning
are challenges unfought
When putting on clothing
contributes no meaning
And veering off blue rails
sanity’s careening
When capacity fails
to produce lucid words
And your vestige of hope
took to flight with blackbirds
When thinking of leaving
intensifies each fear
And strangers reflect back
from every shattered mirror
When violent derision
permeates your whole heart
And effort is fleeting
when attempting to start
When cracked and defeated
your night prayers for the end
And old tear-stained goodbyes
the last letters you send
When internal darkness
lightning flashes can’t break
And illusions of joy
impossible to fake
Then time is permitted
for your tired soul to heal
And dream of tomorrow
better times will reveal
October 26, 2019
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