Depth of Darkness — a Poem About Chronic Illness

Image by Michael Gaida from Pixabay

Watch this poem in video form below.

When the doors to outside 
are impossibly sealed 
And steel chains hold captive 
the sole power you wield

When internal voices 
speak in unending tones 
And aches of depression 
ravage all lonely bones

When hiding in your bed 
the lone safety you find 
And destructive desires 
wage cold war on your mind

When frigid and frayed nerves 
cause your tired heart to race 
And lasting solitude 
impossible to face

When bathing and grooming 
demands more than you’ve got 
And cooking and cleaning 
are challenges unfought

When putting on clothing 
contributes no meaning 
And veering off blue rails 
sanity’s careening

When capacity fails 
to produce lucid words 
And your vestige of hope 
took to flight with blackbirds

When thinking of leaving 
intensifies each fear 
And strangers reflect back 
from every shattered mirror

When violent derision 
permeates your whole heart 
And effort is fleeting 
when attempting to start

When cracked and defeated 
your night prayers for the end 
And old tear-stained goodbyes 
the last letters you send

When internal darkness 
lightning flashes can’t break 
And illusions of joy 
impossible to fake

Then time is permitted 
for your tired soul to heal 
And dream of tomorrow 
better times will reveal

October 26, 2019


This poem originally appeared on Medium on October 25, 2019


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