Beast Within – A Poem About Mental Illness
Watch this poem as a music video below.
Beast Within
by Scott Ninneman
I hate this thing that lives in me
A raging force I cannot flee
A snarling beast with razor teeth
A grievous fiend hidden beneath
I hate the song it loves to sing
Despair and angst both loud will ring
Cruel voices chant my ev’ry flaw
Consuming thoughts its fangs will gnaw
I hate the pain that floods my mind
Faces I’ve hurt all intertwined
Mistakes I’ve made each time I failed
A past that haunts and keeps me jailed
I hate the arms that crush my chest
They shake my soul to block my rest
Forbidding breath or calls for aid
Reminding all there’s debts unpaid
I hate the growls, menacing threats
The images it ne’er forgets
The pounding of it’s thund’rous feet
The lies it tells ever repeat
I hate the rage that makes me scared
Banishing those who might have cared
The way it turns my heart to ice
Yet holds me fast within its vice
I hate the storm induced by it
Rampage of words, each one will hit
Cold swirling hail, destructive winds
Black rising sea never rescinds
I hate the chains that keep us bound
One life, two hearts, until the ground
Our past and fate forever joined
These words of ours forever coined
Of man and Beast, which one survives?
It seems to be the one who thrives
The sharpened teeth dull gentle eyes
Ever as fierce despite my cries
This beast is mine, it lives in me
I dream in vain, it will not flee
We share one mind until the end
So I must learn to call it friend
Poet’s Note:
Having a mental illness feels like there’s another being living inside of you. It’s impossible to describe the intensity of having your worst enemy live in your mind. Only another mental illness warrior can fully understand the pain and torment.
Even so, the beast can be tamed. I’ve never found a way to banish it, but I’ve made it less destructive. This beast in me isn’t going anywhere, so I must learn to work with it. I hope someday we find a lasting truce.
Until next time, keep fighting.
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